


lights and stars in the snow below

by Skyuni123



Series: The Down-Under Christmas Fic Challenge 2018 [1]
Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Anxiety, Developing Relationship, F/F, Mortality, Stars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-02
Updated: 2018-12-02
Packaged: 2019-09-05 15:27:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16813399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skyuni123/pseuds/Skyuni123
Summary: Yaz and the Doctor share a chat, sat on the edge of the TARDIS, looking down at the stars below.-Part of the Down-Under Christmas Fic Challenge - the prompt was 'Star/s'





	lights and stars in the snow below

**Author's Note:**

> This is a part of the Down-Under Christmas Fic Challenge, created by yours truly. Hit up [this link](http://eph-em-era.tumblr.com/post/180680576286/the-down-under-christmas-fic-challenge) for more info or to participate. 
> 
> Prompt was 'Star/s'

The stars look different in this body. She’s not sure whether that’s because of the age thing, or because of the gender thing, but they look different. Brighter. More colourful.

She likes it, though it does make a strange change.

Yaz doesn’t seem to notice, though. She oohs and ahhs over the lights below them with just the sort of excitement that the situation deserves. 

She likes the excitement.

She likes Yaz.

Bloody brilliant, quick-witted and her desire to leap into the unknown makes her a fantastic companion. Fantastic. Yes. That was one of hers once upon a time. Though that’s not saying that Ryan and Graham aren’t brilliant companions, because they are - absolutely, positively, and just as devastatingly human - but Yaz…? She’d been taken by her when they’d first met and she’s still taken by her now.

The stars below sparkle off her eyes and it hurts, just a little bit. 

She’s never been one for separation, never quite managed to make it work - even when she was a man - and the thought of losing them hurts her hearts. Though she’s not expecting it, is hoping it’ll never happen, she knows that one day, some day, she’ll wake up one morning and they’ll be gone by the time she goes to bed. 

Even though a Timelord’s sleep cycle is a lot shorter than a human’s.

Even then. 

“What’s that called, down there?” Yaz asks, just barely managing to drag her gaze away from the lights below. They’re not stars, not really, but they twinkle off the continent below like them, and she can call them that all the same.

“It’s a town called Christmas.” The Doctor replies.

She hadn’t meant to bring them here, but the TARDIS had other ideas. Wanted to dredge up old memories, she supposes. “I spent some time there - 500 years from now.”

“Oh yeah?” Yaz says, and dangles her legs over the side of the TARDIS, “Was it good?” 

“Something like that.”

“I don’t really celebrate Christmas, you know. Not really my family’s thing. Course we do a whip round at work, a Secret Santa, things like that - but mostly I just spend Christmas Day with my family. It’s like… a family day. A nice day off. It’s relaxed. You know.” Yaz snorts, and rests her head against the edge of the TARDIS’ doorframe. “My sister and I used to kick up a right fuss when we were younger when we saw the mountains of gifts that kids at school were getting, but it does make things a little easier now.”

“I bet.” The Doctor looks back into the glowing depths of the TARDIS. “Where’s Graham and Ryan at?” 

Ryan had taken one look out of the TARDIS doors at the city below and had balked, and Graham had soon followed suit, claiming that the height made him ‘queasy’.

“Who knows.” Yaz shrugs, “Family bonding, I hope. D’you think we’ll get to see Ryan call Graham Grandad by accident sometime?”

“Ooh, I hope so. Wouldn’t that be nice?!” The Doctor muses, and lays her own head against the other side of the TARDIS’ doorframe. “I used to be a grandad, once. Still am, technically. Or is that grandma? ...I can never really tell anymore.” 

“You say the strangest things sometimes,” Yaz says, looking at her with a measure of exasperation in her voice. “But I’m pretty sure you can call yourself whatever fits you these days.” 

“I’ve not seen my granddaughter for a long, long time.” The Doctor heaves a sigh, and then sits up, shaking the thoughts off. “And I mean a long time - time-wise, and also my life-wise. It’s been… well, probably over two thousand years.” 

“Two thousand years?” Yaz gasps, and looks over at her. “You’ve been alive for two thousand years?”

“Oh, definitely more. Probably more. I guess it must be strange to think about from your side of things.”

“You’ve not seen your family for… two thousand years?” 

It seems like such a shock to her, and the Doctor supposes it must be. Yaz is a ...homebody, that much is obvious. She wouldn’t do well without her family around her.

The Doctor is too, somewhat. She just carries it differently. “Well, there was that incident with my daughter a thousand or so years ago - Jenny, burned out far too soon - but yes, it’s probably been about two thousand years.”

“How do you… go on?” Yaz grasps the Doctor’s hand in a way that is probably meant to be conciliatory. 

They’re strange, humans. She feels the singular pulse under her fingertips, watches it pulse its way through Yaz’s whole body.

“I keep them with me.” The Doctor replies, and pulls their joined hands up to one of her hearts. She doesn’t know why she does it, doesn’t quite understand the meaning behind the motion, but she knows that she must. She rests the back of Yaz’s hand up against one of her hearts. “In here.” And then she moves it down, to the right, and slightly lower, to the faster-beating side. It is not just her pulse that’s hammering in her head - speeding up faster and faster as the moment goes by. “And in here.”

“Doctor, I-” Yaz cuts herself off and looks up into her eyes, gripping her hand tighter around The Doctor’s. The air feels tense, like it’s just waiting for something to snap. The Doctor swallows, watches the rise and fall of the breath in Yaz’s chest.

Humans.

So magnificent.

She doesn’t even know where to begin.

“I-” She starts, not even knowing where she’s trying to go. It’s rare that her tongue’s fled her so quickly, but she just - doesn’t know. New body. New feelings. New mind. “I-”

“Hey, Doc- I found this strange old machine-” Graham’s voice from behind them is both a blessing and a curse.

She clears her throat, and drops Yaz’s hand. She doesn’t even know if she can look her in the eyes. “Right. Where was this machine, and did it dispense jelly beans?” She leaps to her feet, without a backwards glance at the stars out the TARDIS door or down at Yaz. She can’t get attached like that. Not again. “Because I wouldn’t eat them if I were you - some of them can cause a nasty green rash. Show me?”

The question sounds a little like an anxious plea in her head and she hopes beyond measure that that anxiety doesn’t travel through into her voice.

Graham, bless him, takes it all in his stride. “Of course. Come on.”

She leaves Yaz staring down at the planet below, lights and stars twinkling on the edges of the snow.

**Author's Note:**

> hit me up on [ my tumblr ](eph-em-era.tumblr.com)


End file.
